RIP Maxwell Bullerman 1990 - 2006.

So, the subway stop I get off on (and on, incidentally, but that's irrelevant for reasons that will become clear later this post), has a liquor store at the bottom of it. A HUGE liquor store. I think this is very bad. My first two days of work, I stopped in to buy liquor. Today, I barely resisted the siren's call. Here's how the voices argue it out in my head.

Outside the Store Day 1

Voice 1: "you really need to go buy scotch"
Voice 2: "I am in total agreement. Scotch is the only liquor you drink, you should buy some."

Inside the store

Voice 1: "Wow! look at all these Scotches. I need a whole bunch. I want to buy all the colors of Johnnie Walker, some single malts, and some stuff like Crown Royal too!"
Voice 2: "Settle down there, tonto. You only need one. We have lots of furniture we need to buy and pay for you know, and really not a very good storage place for the liquor right now anyway."

Voice 1: "Yeah, but you know we gonna run out this bitch soon. At least let me buy one more ... oooh Jager. We need Jager."
Voice 2: "No we don't."

Voice 1: "yes we do."
Voice 2: "no we don't"

Voice 1: "yes we do."
Voice 2: "yes we do."
Voice 1: "HA!"
Voice 2: "Shit. Fuck you, we're not buying Jager."
Voice 1: "well, how about Bailey's?"
Voice 2: "oh yes, we do need bailey's"

Outside the store, day 2:

Voice 2: "you know, I think we need Jager."

So, while I've avoided the siren call of Jager (and the other liquors) so far, I am going to be constantly tempted every time I get off the subway to just stop in and buy a bottle of something I don't have. Be it Macallan 10 single malt or Jager or Kirschwasser or ....

Current Mood: worried

I generally dislike propaganda. But if you're going to create propaganda, at least make it good propaganda. Behind the cut is an email my grandmother sent me. The fact that there are people who actually believe this kind of thing saddens me.

( Read more... )

I was at the airport today, and I went to Hudson News or whatever those things are called. I thought to myself, you know, I wonder who's in Maxim, I haven't looked at that magazine in ages. I was dissapointed however, as I could not find the magazine. So I went to another Hudson News (since they're like every 5 feet in the airport), still nothing. The third time was the charm however, as I decided to look in an alternative location; the top row with the porn, behind the black blocker things. Now it's true, Maxim is pretty close to porn, but everyone in it is clothed somewhat, unless they drastically changed since the last issue I examined. So my question is, is this a sign of how prudish and anti-sex our society is, or rather, does Maxim belong where I found it, as it is really close to pornography. What do you all think?

Another thing, I love Sky Mall. It's like my favorite thing. I will search rows of seats until I can find a Sky Mall. I always mean to take it home with me but then I end up forgetting to do so. I mean, hell, there's a remote control SHARK in it? How fucking awesome is that?!?

Is anyone else annoyed by how early the captain says "we're about to land" and then makes everyone sit up straight and what not? It's always like, 8 hours before you actually land. You sit there thinking "Did we go to Greenland and back after the captain said we were landing, cause it's been like 8 hours. I think we went to Greenland. I've been sitting in an upright position with no place to put my Sky Mall magazine for easy reading and we go to Greenland." Then I like to contrast it with the comment that the flight attendant makes as you're pulling into the gate. "Please remain seated until the captain turns off the fasten seatbelt sign..." There, it's like, the sign goes off as soon as the guy's done talking.

Current Mood: confused

http://moneycentral.msn.com/content/Banking/creditcardsmarts/P108369.asp

Interesting article. I'm not persuaded in the fraud area, but apparently, I am naive in thinking they don't just change your rates and stuff without telling you. According to the article, anytime they send you a new card, you're liable for new whatever, and they don't even have to send you information about it (unless it's in there and I'm unaware).

All I can say is: Bastards.

Current Mood: annoyed

Does anyone understand this? I was thinking about it the other day and I really, honestly have no clue. I guess it could be an excuse to send you a new card since they eventually wear out, but, my cards generally wear out prior to the expiration date anyway. Then I just call the credit card company and get them to send me a new one.

It can't be a theft issue because you'd call and cancel your card then, and get a new one sent to you. Maybe it's a business purpose? I have a hard time thinking of one. It's not like my rates or whatever change whenever I get a new piece of plastic. It's not like I use my credit cards that are near expiration more than I do the ones that are far away from expiration.

I imagine it has to be a security thing. More stuff to remember. However, why not just make the numbers longer. It's not like it's hard to remember when my credit card expires. It's also not like someone who sees my card in passing is going to have trouble remembering the "good thru" date if they can remember the 16 digit number on the front of the card. (and anyway, many places require the 3 digit number on the back of the card now to prevent that I assume). Anyone? I'm going to wikipedia after this post, maybe they know.

Current Mood: confused

This is going to be the first in series of stories of the weird ass shit I see in the subway. Since I take it every day now, there should be lots of stories. I have a couple of them stored up, so I'll just get them all out in one post.

The Lady with the Taxidermied Dog Purse

The other day I walking along the subway platform, and saw this lady, and she had a dog under her arm. She was just standing there waiting for a train. From far away I thought she was just holding the dog under her arm. As I got closer I noticed that the dog wasn't moving. Its front and back legs were streched out (parallel to the floor), like it was jumping or something. I quickly realized that the lady wasn't holding the dog. It wasn't in a dog purse thingy. She had taxidermied her dog and turned it into a purse. Zipper up its back and everything. It was a little terrier like dog. And it was very disturbing

Charlie Brown and the Subway Attendant

Coming home the other day, I walk past this quite large man SCREAMING at the subway attendant in the subway attendant's little box thing. However, as I moved away, I couldn't understand anything the subway attendant was saying because he was saying it through his little com box. So from far away, it reminded me of Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown screaming at his teacher, and the teacher screaming back "Mwah Mwah, Mwah. Mwah!". It was quite amusing. Everyone else must've thought so because everyone stopped and watched.

The last comment is less a story and more an observation. One thing I really like about the subway is when two trains pass by each other underground. It's really cool to look into the other train as you pass. It's like looking into another dimension. And then after that short glimpse, it's gone.

I would just like to note the prognosticating Website, The Onion

Does anyone else think that you should be able to highlight text that's in all caps (because you accidentally hit caps lock) hit caps lock again and magically transform all the text to non-caps? Why has this not worked out so far? It seems so simple, and yet, so awesome

I love the "Game notes" on yahoo's gametracker. For example in the baltimore toronto game right now, Alex Rios and Frank Catalanotto hit back to back home runs in the first inning. In the scoring summary it says that. But, the game notes feels that it's necessary to shout that out at you below in full caps. It's like, thanks, Captain Obvious. What're you going to tell me next, that I'm looking at a page on internet?

It's June 14th, I graduated 1 month and 2 days ago. Do you know where your grades are? Because I don't. Which means I technically haven't graduated. I loved in the graduation ceremony how they were all "Candidate for the Juris Doctorate" and I'm like, Oh, well, that's nice. We could've had that ceremony on the second day of class. I was a freakin candidate then too.

So I've been listening to Pandora more recently. I think Pandora's quite emotional, actually. I'll be listening along and it'll play some songs I like, so I reward it with a thumbs up on the song. Then it's all happy and plays me some songs I like. However, sometimes, Pandora needs to be disciplined. Such as the rare occasion it decides to play me Celine Dion. So I give it the thumbs down. Pandora then feels bad, and changes tune. Because I have such an eclectic music selection in my Pandora selection, you really can tell the difference. For a while, it was poppy female singers. Then came Celine Dion. I sent Pandora to it's room without dinner, and we got to more hard rock, male singers. Much better.

Speaking of Pandora and the weird songs it plays, has anyone heard the Liz Phair song "Favorite"? All I can say is Liz Phair is odd, and that I strangely somewhat like the song. Here's the chorus, reprinted for your viewing pleasure

Oh baby know what your like?
You're like my favorite underwear
It just feels right, you know it
Oh baby know how you feel?
You feel like my favorite underwear
And I'm slipping you on again tonight
Slipping you on again tonight
Wrap me and roll me, hold me tight
Tear me apart and make me new
Like you always do

That's sorta disturbing. Then again, I've never really been one that's that picky about lyrics.

Today's blog brought to you by my renewal of my paid membership as my year was up.

Blog Notes
YOU ARE READING MY BLOG

Other notes: The word "blog" is fairly disgusting, isn't it? Sounds like the burp that happens when you throw up a little in your mouth.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: "Leader of Men" - Nickelback

So, I moved into a new apartment this summer. It's just a sublet, we're moving out by August. And thank god too because I think my shower wants me dead. Let me describe this shower. First, the water pressure sucks. Second, the construction of the shower sucks. There are 3, count them 3, knobs for this shower. That's right. A knob for the hot water, a knob for the cold water, and a knob to switch from tub to shower. Furthermore, none of these knobs are labeled. Nor do any of the knobs turn the same way. That's not possible you say? I assure you, it is possible.

But that's not all. You can't just turn the hot knob and have a nice, warm shower. No, you turn the hot knob at all you have a scalding hot shower. So you have to turn the cold knob as well. For a few minutes this works, you have a temperate shower. However, then the shower gets bored and decides to fuck with you a little bit. So it decides to intertwine bursts of scalding water with bursts of freezing water, with about 5 seconds of temperate water in between. So you're showering up, la de da, and all of a sudden you're violently assautled by the shower. So you have to jump out of the way, and you end up doing this hokey pokey like dance in the very wet, slippery shower.

So, when you're sick of the hokey pokey, you have to turn the shower off, which is an adventure in and of itself. So like I said, the knobs all turn different directions and aren't labeled, so I generally end up turning one side completely off while blasting the other. I like to see it as the showers parting gift as I frantically turn the other direction, while the water is either scalding me or freezing me.

So, if I live past these next two months, I will see this as a victory over my shower. We are currently locked in a vicious struggle for domination. I don't know if I'm winning.

Current Mood: working